People talk about 'knowing themselves' as if there is a definitive answer to the kind of person you are, but I think who you are is constantly changing all the time. I will hold my hands up and say I am still learning a lot about the person I am every single day, and I'm okay with that. I am made up of a million thoughts and feelings which vary day to day, scenario to scenario, and I can only be predictable to a certain extent. But I am learning to love every aspect of myself, from the happy loner to the social butterfly.
Sometimes it feels very surreal to me all the things I have done with my life; especially as I sit here in my pyjamas curled up under a blanket, half blogging/half watching The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. It would be hard to believe that the girl sat here typing this is the same girl who has flown alone to different countries, lived in a different town without my family, or even been on a 14 hour pub crawl. Sometimes, the opposing extremities of my personalities confuses even myself. How can I be so outgoing for someone so incredibly reclusive? How can I be so lazy for someone who wants to achieve so much?
These are all the parts of me which make me 'me', and I'm not afraid or ashamed of any of them.
There are layers to my personality, and it's weird to me how I (without realising) allow different people to see different versions of myself. Without any conscious choice, different people see me in different ways, whether it's at the most basic surface level, or because in some strange way we 'click' and just understand each other.
I am shy. I am outgoing. I am lazy. I am productive. I am passionate. I am reluctant.
I am human.
And I am a whole world within myself.
♥
No comments