The future is ours...

Once again, shock horror, I've been terrible with blogging, but I have reason for this. I have been on holiday, bought a car, and progressed quite extensively somewhat with being a fully-fledged adult. But with being an adult, comes great responsibility.

 

 

It's hard to ignore that the world is in turmoil at the moment, it's a very scary place right now. With the recent attacks in both Manchester and London, it is now more than ever that we must join together and find strength in each other. Without sounding like a complete raging hippy, love really will help to ease the pain of the world. By showing compassion and empathy to all, we can stop the spread of hate and all the evil that comes with it. We are stronger together. And we must be heard.

 

Tomorrow (8th June), it is the day of the General Election in the UK.

 

I urge you all to go out and vote. Make your voice heard. Don't think that your vote won't make a difference, because it really can. Vote with both your hearts and your heads, and remember it is your future you are voting for. Vote for your freedom. Your rights. Vote for how you want the world to be. Vote for anyone you want to vote for, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

 

But please, just vote.

 

 

This is one of our greatest rights, historically people have actually died to preserve this right, and it would be an incredible shame if this generation decided that voting was of no importance.

 

I will be back to the usual blogs ASAP, filling you in with all the things going on in my life and all the adventures.

 

Much love ♥

Do you hear the people sing?

So it really feels like the world is going crazy at the moment, but everyone seems too afraid to talk about it.

The highs and the lows of the world seem to be pushing themselves further apart, and it feels like the world could implode at any given moment. The easy middle ground of contentment has vanished, as we drift in a sea of despair and disbelief. Whilst it seems easy to hide away with the curtains shut, there are too many unpredictable idiots in power (Trump, Putin, Kim Jong-un), who seem to view the world as if they are playing one big game of Risk, making the fate of the world as we know it look increasingly uncertain.

 

But what can we do about it?

 

 

Everyone has an opinion, and we should all be voicing them. Change doesn't stem from silence, and many of us refuse to stay mute. My twitter is constantly exploding with everyone getting involved and having their say on the world's events. Even the quietest voice from the furthest corner of the world can be heard through the power of the internet, so let it be heard. The sheer volume of hate in the world makes me want to scream for 24 hours a day at the top of my lungs, but there isn't much I alone can do about it all. All I can really do is keep screaming, and hoping that eventually, the people at the top of this political pyramid pay attention to the voices below.

 

Spread as much love, awareness, and unity as you can as you drift on through your life. Don't be one of those people who constantly complains about the state of the world and the despair of humanity, whilst you sit there and do nothing about it. Show compassion everywhere you go, and march and sing and scream until people pay attention to you.

 

We need to keep talking about everything that is going on in the world. Talk to your family, your friends, your colleagues. We can't let things pass us by, and we can't be silent when the rest of the world is screaming.

 

♥

 

 

I'm the same, I'm the same, I'm trying to change...

When I first started writing this blog, I had this grand vision of writing about all the wonderful places I would travel to, and all the new and exciting things I would be getting up to. However, being awful with money and tied to too many responsibilities (family, uni, jobs), my blog, and my life, didn't quite pan out that way. So in order to feed the need to keep writing, despite the fact I have barely left my hometown in the last few months, I have written about the one subject I know very well; myself. I'm currently in the process of trying to figure out what it is I want from life, a theme which pours out of me in my last few blog posts, but I get so fed up of being that person who doesn't seem to talk about anything else.

 

I try to blog about all manner of things, but often I end up writing about what's going on in my mind, which feels incredibly selfish in hindsight. It also makes me look incredibly silent on issues such as feminism, politics and just equality in every form. It's not that I'm not passionate about these topics, and trust me if you've ever crossed paths with me whilst I'm in one of my rants, you'll know; I'm just a bit useless at putting my opinions down on paper. Maybe it's because it reminds me a bit of writing academic essays, and I'm still recovering from uni, or maybe I just have a complete mental block when I go to write them up.
 

 

It is very easy to get caught up in all your own problems, and remain ignorant to the world outside. I am guilty of this through and through. I become ridiculously overdramatic about things which in the grand scheme of things, don't really matter at all. There are much bigger issues in the world than little me and my existential crisis.

So this is my promise. I'll try not to be so selfish in my blogs, constantly blogging about all the worries in every little corner of my mind. I'm going to try and broaden my writing to be more inclusive of what's going on in the world. So yes, brace yourself for more feminist rants. And brace yourself for the many anti-Trump posts. And maybe my blogs won't single-handedly change the world, but living in the world we're in at the moment; I have to do something.

 

♥

 

Green light...

Today, I passed my driving test first time.

 

 

This has been one hell of an experience, one that has genuinely challenged me. I had high hopes that I'd effortlessly pick up learning to drive, but it's been a lot tougher than I thought. It turns out, you can't be naturally brilliant at everything; and more frustratingly so, to not be naturally brilliant at the one thing you want the most.  I've had a fair few tantrums behind the wheel, as well as a few tears. I've even had lessons that have gone so badly (such as catastrophically failing a mock test by pulling out at a crossroads in front of a load of traffic..), that I've had to spend the day horizontally on the sofa to mentally recover.

 

But nevertheless, I've somehow managed it. I had an absolutely brilliant driving instructor (if you're in Weymouth, you should definitely learn with Andy Woodgate!), and if anything he deserves a medal for putting up with me for so many hours.

 

I was weirdly calm all morning leading up to my test, and just before I got called forwards, Green Light by Lorde was playing on the radio. It's my absolute favourite song at the moment, so I feel like somehow, the universe was sending me positive vibes. If you've not heard it yet I thoroughly recommend, so much so that I've put it below so you too can have a little bop around your room.

 

 

Exactly a year ago today I handed in my dissertation. The 21st of March has somehow become a day to remember. For the last two years, it's been a day which symbolises that hard work pays off. I put far too much pressure on myself, especially if it's something I really want to excel in, and the rush you get when it all pays off, and pays off well, is exhilarating. I'm an overachiever junkie and proud. I'd rather work my arse off for everything I have and be able to look back and see all the things I've done.

 

 

So here's to the open road, let the adventures begin!  ♥
 

For Adam...

On this day, 21 years ago, I stopped being an only child, and had to share the spotlight with my little brother, Adam. We've fought for the spotlight ever since (which is crazy really because I'm clearly the favourite child), but seeing as it's your 21st birthday, I'll let you have front and centre stage just this once.

My family means the world to me, especially my brother, Adam. Being a sibling is a bond unlike any other. It's the ability to fight and hate each other, whilst fiercely defending each other from the vile words and actions of others. It's all of the inside jokes which accumulate throughout the years that no one else could ever decipher. It's sharing the same feelings about your crazy parents that no one else in the world could understand. And it's knowing that they are one of the only people on the world you can naturally depend on for support, no matter what.

I have a million memories I could share, but I would be blogging for days. So instead, here are a few embarrassing pictures to mark the occasion.

 

 

Watching you grow up into the man you are today makes me feel incredibly proud to call myself your sister. From the bullying, to the family drama, to life being generally shit sometimes; I will always have your back. You may be a lazy pain in the arse who does my head in 24/7, but I wouldn't change you for the world. You're the yin to my yang, the gin to my tonic, the Pikachu to my Ash, and the naïve to my codeine.

I love you millions  ♥

(I probably won't admit this again for ages so feel free to savour the moment)

A world within myself...

People talk about 'knowing themselves' as if there is a definitive answer to the kind of person you are, but I think who you are is constantly changing all the time. I will hold my hands up and say I am still learning a lot about the person I am every single day, and I'm okay with that. I am made up of a million thoughts and feelings which vary day to day, scenario to scenario, and I can only be predictable to a certain extent. But I am learning to love every aspect of myself, from the happy loner to the social butterfly.

  

 

Sometimes it feels very surreal to me all the things I have done with my life; especially as I sit here in my pyjamas curled up under a blanket, half blogging/half watching The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. It would be hard to believe that the girl sat here typing this is the same girl who has flown alone to different countries, lived in a different town without my family, or even been on a 14 hour pub crawl. Sometimes, the opposing extremities of my personalities confuses even myself. How can I be so outgoing for someone so incredibly reclusive? How can I be so lazy for someone who wants to achieve so much?

 

These are all the parts of me which make me 'me', and I'm not afraid or ashamed of any of them.

 

There are layers to my personality, and it's weird to me how I (without realising) allow different people to see different versions of myself. Without any conscious choice, different people see me in different ways, whether it's at the most basic surface level, or because in some strange way we 'click' and just understand each other.

 

I am shy. I am outgoing. I am lazy. I am productive. I am passionate. I am reluctant.

 

I am human.

 

And I am a whole world within myself.

 

 ♥

 

The wrong direction...

Recently, I've felt as though I've been spinning in circles with a complete lack of direction. And then it hit me. This is the first year of my life where I am not in any form of education. This is it.

 This is my life.

At first, this was completely overwhelming. What am I doing with my life? What happens if I'm wasting my life? What if I'm laying on my death bed thinking about how I wasted my youth? I'll admit I was exceedingly overdramatic about the whole thing, but in many ways it felt like the job I've always done to finance the gaps in my life (making coffee), had turned into my career.

 

 

But then things began to sink in. I'm not walking in the wrong direction. There isn't even a direction to be going in the first place. I had completely got myself wrapped up in the false belief that everything was falling apart, but in some weird way, things were somehow falling together without me even noticing. When I had stopped spinning, I could see that actually, my life has a very clear and positive structure to it.

I've booked my driving test. I am this close to being fully licensed to drive, something I'd put heavily on the back-burner since I started university. Without realising it, I'd overcome one of the biggest obstacles to the 'stuck' feeling I've had with being back in Weymouth. Soon I will conquer the open road, and be able to explore new places, as well as be able to travel to all the people I love.

I'm also extremely grateful for the opportunities for development my work as offered me. I've figured that it's an option I absolutely must explore, if not for a lifetime within the company then at the very least as an chance to better myself. I really do enjoy my job, and for however long I find myself working there, I want to do well and exceed.

And finally, I realised that at some point; I absolutely must move to the USA. I owe this to years of dreaming. Even if it's only for six weeks, six months, or six years, it's a chance I have to take. Obviously this is not something I can just wake up and run to the airport in the morning for. This is the endgame for my current plans. This is the place I ultimately wish to get to, whenever, and however it becomes possible.

 

 

 

There is no such thing as going in the wrong direction. The only direction there really is, is within yourself. Make goals, however big or small, and get there one step at a time.

(And remember, going backwards is still taking a step. It means you're not stuck in the same position, and sometimes this can definitely be a positive thing!)

Much love ♥