The New Year review...

Blimey what a year. 2017 has been (and please excuse the horrible cliché) a life changing year. I feel like I have done literally everything, which I'm well aware is a huge exaggeration, but seriously, I have accomplished loads. In the thick of it all though, you never realise just how much you are doing. It's only in these moments of reflection that you actually see how far you've come.

 

 

For example, as I sit and write this now, I'm currently curled up in my new Christmas pyjamas and dressing gown, with a casserole cooking in our new slow cooker (cheers mum, truly a fab and underrated xmas idea, because coming home to food ready cooked brings me so much joy). I've definitely cracked this whole 'adulting' thing. 2017 has been the most 'adult' year of my life, and I have to admit I bloody love it. I've always been a bit of an old soul, never really felt comfortable going out and awkwardly dancing in clubs; so it's nice to finally settle down into the age I feel I was truly prepared for. There is nothing better than having cosy nights in with James, curled up with lovely food, a film, and good cup of tea. I genuinely believe I've only worn heels once or twice this year. I'd much rather be chilling out in my slippers, thank you very much.
 

 

So here is the slightly smug list of things I have done this year...

 

I started dated James in March. Moved into his flat with him in June, and then moved into our own flat in September.

 

I passed my driving test in March and bought my car, Carrie in June, and have not crashed, got a ticket, or caused harm to myself, my passengers, my car, or other cars, which is nothing short of a miracle.
 

 

Went to Majorca in May with my mum and Adam, and Corfu with Steph in July, because only having one summer holiday a year is so overrated.

 

Went to Amsterdam with James for my 23rd birthday (Jesus I'm old now, I was 19 when I started this blog), and had a really great time. Apart from the cycling.

 

Bought a sofa in October. How damn adult is that?! Plus we've essentially sorted out everything we needed for our flat, like a dining table, bedside tables, and all the weird things you don't realise you need to actually live.

 

Had my first ever Christmas morning somewhere other than my mums with James, which was so lovely and chilled, and we made the worlds-worst gingerbread house.
 

 

Saw Royal Blood with my brother and Bananarama with my Mum both in  November, and remembered how much fun gigs are.

 

Been on countless mini-adventures and days out, mostly with James, to places like Corfe Castle and Winchester, keeping the wanderlust dream alive.

 

Started making loads of stuff like candles and jewellery, and we turned out to be quite good at it.

 

There are so many more things I've done this year, like cooking my first ever roast, wearing a bikini and not giving two shits about what anyone thought of me in it, and jumping off of a boat. I've gained loads of new friends, and a new family as well through James, which I am incredibly grateful for.
 

 

All round, a pretty good year!

 

Roll on 2018, I have never been so excited for a year to begin, because I actually for once feel settled and ready for it.

 

Happy new year everyone, much love ♥

 

The Christmas countdown...

It's the most wonderful time of the year

 

 

I think we can all safely say that nothing beats the feeling of contentment during Christmas in the evening, when you're surrounded by loved ones and feeling gluttonous from stuffing your face with pigs in blankets. But alas dear friends, I have a confession. 

 

I am so out of the Christmas spirit.

 

It breaks my heart. Surprisingly, I am constantly surrounded by the season at work, but it's like it hasn't sunken in at all. I am not absorbing the festivities as I usually would. I did all the usual tricks; went to a garden centre to surround myself with twinkling lights and baubles, bought most of the presents, and I've even ordered the turkey. So why on earth am I feeling so mundane about it all?

 

Christmas this year has been very stressful. A plethora of things have been currently going on in my world, least of all the *small* issue that our flat has some damp and mould issues that are a borderline health hazard. Add to that the usual work/life/money woes, and it's pretty obvious how Christmas has fallen off my radar somewhat. 
 

 

Plus, I'm starting to understand that Christmas when you don't live at your mums is absolutely chaotic. The above picture was from last year, in front of a tree I had absolutely no involvement in putting up. But when you've moved out, no one else is going to buy or put up a tree. No one else subtly sneaks in tubs of chocolates and twiglets to snack on. There isn't a warm, readymade Christmas atmosphere waiting for you to come home to.  All that shit depends on you. How on earth do mums cram it in? I can barely find the time to blog, eat or sleep, let alone actually go out and buy a Christmas tree. I haven't had the time to decorate the flat at all, we have a few decorations which we've slowly accumulated, but there isn't a shred of it out. Our flat is currently a Christmas-free zone. If only it looked like this display in Gould Garden Centre...
 

 

I am so aware that it's the 14th of December, and I need to get my shit together, proto.

 

Basically, I need some Christmas spirit, fast. So if anyone wants to constantly remind me of all the wonderful things about Christmas that would be great. Or you could bring us a Christmas tree. And if you could wrap my Christmas presents for me whilst you're at it, that would be even better. 

 

 

Much love  ♥

King and queen of the castle...

My home county is beautiful.

 

However, the sad truth is, I very rarely get to explore it beyond my little corner in Weymouth. Weymouth itself is very picturesque, I mean, my daily commute to work is literally just a 10 minute walk along the beach. There are definitely worse place to live in the world.

 

My partner James and I have made a pact, to get out and enjoy where we live, as much as we can. This prompted our spontaneous day trip to Corfe Castle a few weeks ago.

 

History lesson! Corfe Castle was built by William the Conqueror (Not literally, more that he decided, 'Hey, see that hill in Dorset? You know what would look great there? A castle.') It was built in the 11th century, and was destroyed in the 17th century, leaving it in the state we see it now. Located just down the road from Swanage (a lovely seaside town which you absolutely must visit), Corfe Castle sits on the hill, overlooking the village which shares its name.

 

Corfe Castle is now owned by the National Trust, and has become a huge tourist attraction in my part of the world. The village surrounding the castle is quaint, with classic British pubs, tearooms, and locally owned shops.

 

As well as paying for entry to the castle for a little explore, another must-do activity is taking a ride on the steam train which stops in the village. The train runs from Norden to Swanage, and costs as little as £2.70 for just a quick 10 minutes return journey to Norden. It's certainly a unique way to explore more of the area around the castle, very quintessentially British, and nostalgic. Plus you can stick your head out the window and pretend you're in The Railway Children or something similar.

 

Essentially, it was a really low-key, stress-free way to spend our day with no time constraints. As we visited in November, even though it was a Saturday, it wasn't particularly busy, meaning we could potter along at our own pace and not be swept into a busy crowd.

 

I would definitely recommend that you pop along to Corfe Castle should you ever find yourself in Dorset (and if you live here, just go and explore!)

 

Much love ♥

 

Wanderlust has had a makeover...

 

Whilst I was browsing through some of my favourite blogs, I found myself getting ever so envious about how pretty their layouts were. I'd built my old layout myself, and honestly it was pretty naff. I'm not the best with coding and all things computer speak, so I just chucked a few basic bits together, made my own header (which by the way, survived the makeover), and muddled through.

 

But those days are gone. I invested in a new theme, paid a few quid for it, and got free installation as well. Bish bash bosh. Done. The theory is, now my blog is all pretty and fancy, I'll be much more inclined to update it more regularly. I'm really impressed with how it looks, it actually now looks like a professional website, so clean and easy to navigate.

I'm also going to try and use a lot more of mine (and my boyfriend James) photography, like the picture above which I took from the plane window on the way back from Amsterdam. So no more flooding my blog with a million GIFs like I used to!

 

Sometimes all you need is a good tidy up and refresh.

 

Let me know what you think of our new look, either drop a comment below or send a message in our fancy new Contact tab above ^^^

 

Much love ♥

 

Amster...oh damn!

Guess who has internet!!

I don't know where to begin, it feels like forever since I last sat down and wrote a proper blog post, and I'll admit I'm a bit nervous because it feels like I've completely forgotten how to write. So bear with me please!

Girl offline...

Guys, I'm still here!! A couple of weeks ago, my boyfriend and I moved into our new flat together, and since then I have been completely disconnected from the internet. I can just about scrape by for the basics on my phone, but as you can imagine, blogging is a bit of a nightmare; there's just no nice way to write and edit posts.

 

Luckily for you guys, I've been able to update my Wanderlust Hazel Facebook, so you can keep up to date with all the things going on in my world. I've just got back from a short break in Amsterdam with my boyfriend for my birthday (yes, another holiday!), which will be written up nicely in a blog post for you as soon as we sort out the internet crisis!

 

 

Thank you all for being patient with me, I will return asap!

 

Much love  ♥

 

 

Raining cats and dogs...

It's an age-old 'getting to know you' question; are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

I've always assumed I'm a dog person, but last week I went to a Cat Café and fell in love. For those of you are wondering what on earth I'm on about, it's quite literally a café with cats running around the place. I went to Pause Cat Café in Bournemouth with my boyfriend James, and my friends Russ and Abbie, and it's a really wonderful place. They take in and look after rescue cats, and the money raised goes on looking after them, such as vet bills and feeding them. Plus they get to be surrounded by people who just want to play with and love them, which is great for the cats. The café is built entirely with the cats in mind, with lots of places for them to play, such as bridges and raised beds and millions of cat toys.
 

(My latte had cat inspired art on it, which I'm eager to replicate)

 

I was a bit sceptical when I first heard about it, how can a place like that be hygienically serving food?? Well all of the food and drinks are prepared in areas where the cats aren't allowed, and then presented in sealed containers so that the cats cannot get to them.

 

So after a day being swayed over into the cat-person club, I ended up spending the following day at a dog show! I went to a fayre just outside of Portesham, Dorset, with my mum and our dog Nelson. We also met up with my best friend Lisa and her dog Nika. In true British style, it was tipping down with rain, but that didn't stop us. We decided to enter our dogs into a couple of categories just to see what would happen, and we both ended up leaving with rosettes. Lisa and her dog Nika won a prize in the 'most adorable eyes' category, and my dog Nelson won the 'best rescue dog' category, which qualified him into another dog show later this month. Even more surprisingly, Nelson had made it into the 'best in show' category. He didn't place, which was absolutely no shock to us, especially as he was rolling around and kicking up all the grass as the judges were coming around.

 

(My mum and Nelson and Lisa with Nika competing in the pouring rain)

 

        

(Our gorgeous dogs with their rosettes)

 

It was such a brilliant way to spend my weekend off, surrounded by animals and brilliant people. Both days were so much fun (even if the cat cafe was definitely the most dry - and seriously, what the hell has happened to our summer?!) Plus to top it all off, there was also a great night out with Lisa in the middle. So here's to more random weekend plans!

 

(Me and Lisa, ready to hit Weymouth town)

 

Much love ♥

 

Catch-ups and Corfu...

So I've been a bit busy.

 

The last time I blogged, I was running around London in the pursuit of the perfect cup of coffee, and I haven't quite stopped running around since. I'm not one to go slowly about things, I tend to jam pack my weeks to the point where I feel a bit frazzled and need moments like right now, sitting in front of my laptop with a bar of chocolate, a cup of tea, and love island playing in the background. (I don't understand Love Island, but I'm fascinated as to how it's become such a cultural phenomenon; plus it makes me feel very relieved that I'm in a relationship and don't have to resort to such measures for love.)
 

One of the things I have been up to recently, is a long weekend away with my best friend Steph. I love any excuse to go on holiday, so when Steph approached me and asked if I fancied going away somewhere hot for a break, naturally I jumped at the chance. After spending a good afternoon trawling through the Internet for inspiration, it was decided that we were going to Corfu for a long weekend.
 

 

Now I'm usually the type to book everything separately but we booked an all-inclusive holiday. Everything was planned for, the food and the drinks were all taken care of, and all we had to do was turn up and crash by the pool. Our hotel even provided one nights dining at one of its exclusive restaurants, as well as a free 15 minute massage. Practically heaven. Considering how little time we really had there, and how hectic life has been recently, it was absolutely the mini-break that I needed. Steph and I even decided to part with some cash and have a longer massage, which was interesting. It was completely unlike any other massage I've ever had in my life, because for a good half of it, I felt like the masseuse was beating me up and trying to pull my limbs off. It was oddly satisfying the masseuse cracking every single vertebrae of my spine one by one. And then cracking my shoulders. And my elbows. And just about every single other joint in the top half of my body.
 

 

Despite our hotel having a bit of a weird James Bond theme (our room was in block Doctor No), the views were incredible. We were perched overlooking the sea, and it took us an embarrassingly long time to realise that the mountains we could see in the distance were actually in Albania, and not just 'around the bay' in Corfu. We also took the opportunity to go on a boat trip to Corfu Town on our last day, which included jumping off the back of the boat and swimming in one of the bays around the north of the island. This is a huge breakthrough for me, considering I have huge apprehensions about getting on boats and the unknown of the sea. It makes me feel anxious and sick, so I am ridiculously proud of myself for feeling brave enough to just get on the bloody boat, let alone jump off of it.

 

Then being the workaholic I am, I got back to Weymouth at 7am, napped, then went to work at 1pm. I was shattered yes, but it was totally worth it. There is much I would do in the pursuit of travel and adventure, and this is no exception.
 

 

I say this all the time, but I really do want to get back into writing blogs properly. It's quicker and easier to quickly tap out a Facebook post on the Wanderlust Hazel Facebook page, but committing to sitting down and writing about something has started to feel a bit daunting to me. I think I've just put too much pressure on myself to maintain this blog, and it's taken the opposite effect that actually, it's making me not write at all. I'm working on snapping myself out of this!

 

Until next time,

 

Much love ♥

Babyccino in the big city...

Last week I was very fortunate to have been sent up to London by work on a barista course. Basically, I got to spend an entire day indulging in two of my favourite things, London and coffee.

 

The whole point of the trip was to learn everything there is to know about coffee, after which I gained the fancy new title of 'Master Barista'. The course took place in the bustling Business Design Centre in Islington, about a 5 minute walk from the Angel tube station. It was run by the coffee giants Matthew Algie, and it was informative and brilliant. Making a great coffee, to me, is such a joy. You probably think I'm a bit weird by saying that, but I've never really been that artistic, so in a way coffee lets me be a bit creative.
 

 

You're probably thinking, "Hazel, it's just coffee, like, what is there to really know about it?!?!", and you'd be surprised. There is so much to know, and people (like myself) get very passionate about it. The coffee industry is exploding, and people are starting to realise there's a lot more to coffee than a Nescafe Instant. There's a whole load of coffee based drinks you could have, from a latte to a flat white, cappuccino to a macchiato; there is something for everyone. And it's not just about the milk techniques, there's the whole espresso process too, and honest to God it's so much more technical than you could ever possible imagine.  And then there's the latte art...
 

 

Anyway, I digress from my passionate coffee ranting...

 

Unless you were hiding under a rock last week (or in a different country - you lucky things!), you'll have also melted slowly in the heatwave that washed over the UK. Typical brits, never happy when it's hot, never happy when it's cold; but seriously, it was damn hot. Running around London in my work uniform when it was 33 degrees outside was not a highlight. Seriously. An all black uniform comprising of plastic feeling trousers and a polo top is not essential city heatwave attire. I had to make a pit stop to H&M on the way back to the tube to buy a vest top, because I physically couldn't bare to get on the tube whilst I was that hot.

 

But I'll tell you one thing I noticed; I think I cracked what the makeup adverts are trying to sell us when they hammer on about The London Look. It's a mix between extremely casual with messy hair, and lipstick. Always lipstick. Lipstick to London is what ties the whole combo together. It's the statement made by every woman in the city that yes, they have made an effort today despite their hair drying to a frizz and their makeup slowly melting off. Lipstick is essential London wear, so after I stripped off to my vest top and jeans (For Gods sake Hazel, you knew it would be this hot and you brought JEANS with you???), I slathered on a layer of lipstick and pulled my shades down. My transition into casual Londoner was complete. (Minus my giant floral backpack, otherwise I'm pretty sure I looked cool.)
 

 

I'll admit I miss living only an hour away from London, and being able to hop up there for gigs and whatnot. But all-in-all, I had a great time on the course, and now I even have a certificate. That's right, your gal is now officially a coffee expert. I got to spend the day surrounded by coffee, making coffee, drinking coffee, talking about coffee - it was basically a day inside my dream world.

(Also, shout out to my Boyfriend, James, for coming up with the title of this blog post when I couldn't think of an adequate coffee-based London pun)

 

Much love ♥

 

 

 

The future is ours...

Once again, shock horror, I've been terrible with blogging, but I have reason for this. I have been on holiday, bought a car, and progressed quite extensively somewhat with being a fully-fledged adult. But with being an adult, comes great responsibility.

 

 

It's hard to ignore that the world is in turmoil at the moment, it's a very scary place right now. With the recent attacks in both Manchester and London, it is now more than ever that we must join together and find strength in each other. Without sounding like a complete raging hippy, love really will help to ease the pain of the world. By showing compassion and empathy to all, we can stop the spread of hate and all the evil that comes with it. We are stronger together. And we must be heard.

 

Tomorrow (8th June), it is the day of the General Election in the UK.

 

I urge you all to go out and vote. Make your voice heard. Don't think that your vote won't make a difference, because it really can. Vote with both your hearts and your heads, and remember it is your future you are voting for. Vote for your freedom. Your rights. Vote for how you want the world to be. Vote for anyone you want to vote for, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

 

But please, just vote.

 

 

This is one of our greatest rights, historically people have actually died to preserve this right, and it would be an incredible shame if this generation decided that voting was of no importance.

 

I will be back to the usual blogs ASAP, filling you in with all the things going on in my life and all the adventures.

 

Much love ♥

Do you hear the people sing?

So it really feels like the world is going crazy at the moment, but everyone seems too afraid to talk about it.

The highs and the lows of the world seem to be pushing themselves further apart, and it feels like the world could implode at any given moment. The easy middle ground of contentment has vanished, as we drift in a sea of despair and disbelief. Whilst it seems easy to hide away with the curtains shut, there are too many unpredictable idiots in power (Trump, Putin, Kim Jong-un), who seem to view the world as if they are playing one big game of Risk, making the fate of the world as we know it look increasingly uncertain.

 

But what can we do about it?

 

 

Everyone has an opinion, and we should all be voicing them. Change doesn't stem from silence, and many of us refuse to stay mute. My twitter is constantly exploding with everyone getting involved and having their say on the world's events. Even the quietest voice from the furthest corner of the world can be heard through the power of the internet, so let it be heard. The sheer volume of hate in the world makes me want to scream for 24 hours a day at the top of my lungs, but there isn't much I alone can do about it all. All I can really do is keep screaming, and hoping that eventually, the people at the top of this political pyramid pay attention to the voices below.

 

Spread as much love, awareness, and unity as you can as you drift on through your life. Don't be one of those people who constantly complains about the state of the world and the despair of humanity, whilst you sit there and do nothing about it. Show compassion everywhere you go, and march and sing and scream until people pay attention to you.

 

We need to keep talking about everything that is going on in the world. Talk to your family, your friends, your colleagues. We can't let things pass us by, and we can't be silent when the rest of the world is screaming.

 

♥

 

 

I'm the same, I'm the same, I'm trying to change...

When I first started writing this blog, I had this grand vision of writing about all the wonderful places I would travel to, and all the new and exciting things I would be getting up to. However, being awful with money and tied to too many responsibilities (family, uni, jobs), my blog, and my life, didn't quite pan out that way. So in order to feed the need to keep writing, despite the fact I have barely left my hometown in the last few months, I have written about the one subject I know very well; myself. I'm currently in the process of trying to figure out what it is I want from life, a theme which pours out of me in my last few blog posts, but I get so fed up of being that person who doesn't seem to talk about anything else.

 

I try to blog about all manner of things, but often I end up writing about what's going on in my mind, which feels incredibly selfish in hindsight. It also makes me look incredibly silent on issues such as feminism, politics and just equality in every form. It's not that I'm not passionate about these topics, and trust me if you've ever crossed paths with me whilst I'm in one of my rants, you'll know; I'm just a bit useless at putting my opinions down on paper. Maybe it's because it reminds me a bit of writing academic essays, and I'm still recovering from uni, or maybe I just have a complete mental block when I go to write them up.
 

 

It is very easy to get caught up in all your own problems, and remain ignorant to the world outside. I am guilty of this through and through. I become ridiculously overdramatic about things which in the grand scheme of things, don't really matter at all. There are much bigger issues in the world than little me and my existential crisis.

So this is my promise. I'll try not to be so selfish in my blogs, constantly blogging about all the worries in every little corner of my mind. I'm going to try and broaden my writing to be more inclusive of what's going on in the world. So yes, brace yourself for more feminist rants. And brace yourself for the many anti-Trump posts. And maybe my blogs won't single-handedly change the world, but living in the world we're in at the moment; I have to do something.

 

♥

 

Green light...

Today, I passed my driving test first time.

 

 

This has been one hell of an experience, one that has genuinely challenged me. I had high hopes that I'd effortlessly pick up learning to drive, but it's been a lot tougher than I thought. It turns out, you can't be naturally brilliant at everything; and more frustratingly so, to not be naturally brilliant at the one thing you want the most.  I've had a fair few tantrums behind the wheel, as well as a few tears. I've even had lessons that have gone so badly (such as catastrophically failing a mock test by pulling out at a crossroads in front of a load of traffic..), that I've had to spend the day horizontally on the sofa to mentally recover.

 

But nevertheless, I've somehow managed it. I had an absolutely brilliant driving instructor (if you're in Weymouth, you should definitely learn with Andy Woodgate!), and if anything he deserves a medal for putting up with me for so many hours.

 

I was weirdly calm all morning leading up to my test, and just before I got called forwards, Green Light by Lorde was playing on the radio. It's my absolute favourite song at the moment, so I feel like somehow, the universe was sending me positive vibes. If you've not heard it yet I thoroughly recommend, so much so that I've put it below so you too can have a little bop around your room.

 

 

Exactly a year ago today I handed in my dissertation. The 21st of March has somehow become a day to remember. For the last two years, it's been a day which symbolises that hard work pays off. I put far too much pressure on myself, especially if it's something I really want to excel in, and the rush you get when it all pays off, and pays off well, is exhilarating. I'm an overachiever junkie and proud. I'd rather work my arse off for everything I have and be able to look back and see all the things I've done.

 

 

So here's to the open road, let the adventures begin!  ♥
 

For Adam...

On this day, 21 years ago, I stopped being an only child, and had to share the spotlight with my little brother, Adam. We've fought for the spotlight ever since (which is crazy really because I'm clearly the favourite child), but seeing as it's your 21st birthday, I'll let you have front and centre stage just this once.

My family means the world to me, especially my brother, Adam. Being a sibling is a bond unlike any other. It's the ability to fight and hate each other, whilst fiercely defending each other from the vile words and actions of others. It's all of the inside jokes which accumulate throughout the years that no one else could ever decipher. It's sharing the same feelings about your crazy parents that no one else in the world could understand. And it's knowing that they are one of the only people on the world you can naturally depend on for support, no matter what.

I have a million memories I could share, but I would be blogging for days. So instead, here are a few embarrassing pictures to mark the occasion.

 

 

Watching you grow up into the man you are today makes me feel incredibly proud to call myself your sister. From the bullying, to the family drama, to life being generally shit sometimes; I will always have your back. You may be a lazy pain in the arse who does my head in 24/7, but I wouldn't change you for the world. You're the yin to my yang, the gin to my tonic, the Pikachu to my Ash, and the naïve to my codeine.

I love you millions  ♥

(I probably won't admit this again for ages so feel free to savour the moment)

A world within myself...

People talk about 'knowing themselves' as if there is a definitive answer to the kind of person you are, but I think who you are is constantly changing all the time. I will hold my hands up and say I am still learning a lot about the person I am every single day, and I'm okay with that. I am made up of a million thoughts and feelings which vary day to day, scenario to scenario, and I can only be predictable to a certain extent. But I am learning to love every aspect of myself, from the happy loner to the social butterfly.

  

 

Sometimes it feels very surreal to me all the things I have done with my life; especially as I sit here in my pyjamas curled up under a blanket, half blogging/half watching The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. It would be hard to believe that the girl sat here typing this is the same girl who has flown alone to different countries, lived in a different town without my family, or even been on a 14 hour pub crawl. Sometimes, the opposing extremities of my personalities confuses even myself. How can I be so outgoing for someone so incredibly reclusive? How can I be so lazy for someone who wants to achieve so much?

 

These are all the parts of me which make me 'me', and I'm not afraid or ashamed of any of them.

 

There are layers to my personality, and it's weird to me how I (without realising) allow different people to see different versions of myself. Without any conscious choice, different people see me in different ways, whether it's at the most basic surface level, or because in some strange way we 'click' and just understand each other.

 

I am shy. I am outgoing. I am lazy. I am productive. I am passionate. I am reluctant.

 

I am human.

 

And I am a whole world within myself.

 

 ♥

 

The wrong direction...

Recently, I've felt as though I've been spinning in circles with a complete lack of direction. And then it hit me. This is the first year of my life where I am not in any form of education. This is it.

 This is my life.

At first, this was completely overwhelming. What am I doing with my life? What happens if I'm wasting my life? What if I'm laying on my death bed thinking about how I wasted my youth? I'll admit I was exceedingly overdramatic about the whole thing, but in many ways it felt like the job I've always done to finance the gaps in my life (making coffee), had turned into my career.

 

 

But then things began to sink in. I'm not walking in the wrong direction. There isn't even a direction to be going in the first place. I had completely got myself wrapped up in the false belief that everything was falling apart, but in some weird way, things were somehow falling together without me even noticing. When I had stopped spinning, I could see that actually, my life has a very clear and positive structure to it.

I've booked my driving test. I am this close to being fully licensed to drive, something I'd put heavily on the back-burner since I started university. Without realising it, I'd overcome one of the biggest obstacles to the 'stuck' feeling I've had with being back in Weymouth. Soon I will conquer the open road, and be able to explore new places, as well as be able to travel to all the people I love.

I'm also extremely grateful for the opportunities for development my work as offered me. I've figured that it's an option I absolutely must explore, if not for a lifetime within the company then at the very least as an chance to better myself. I really do enjoy my job, and for however long I find myself working there, I want to do well and exceed.

And finally, I realised that at some point; I absolutely must move to the USA. I owe this to years of dreaming. Even if it's only for six weeks, six months, or six years, it's a chance I have to take. Obviously this is not something I can just wake up and run to the airport in the morning for. This is the endgame for my current plans. This is the place I ultimately wish to get to, whenever, and however it becomes possible.

 

 

 

There is no such thing as going in the wrong direction. The only direction there really is, is within yourself. Make goals, however big or small, and get there one step at a time.

(And remember, going backwards is still taking a step. It means you're not stuck in the same position, and sometimes this can definitely be a positive thing!)

Much love ♥

 

 

The New Year Cliche...

To embellish the words of John Lennon and Yoko Ono, 'Another, quite frankly crappy, year over, and a new ones just begun'. Whilst we find ourselves looking back in despair and looking forwards in hope, it is also that magical time of year when you cannot escape those sickening words, "New Year New Me!"  

 

 

I usually laugh in the face of this shallow statement, thinking that it's just a flimsy excuse to pretend to start over. It's a phrase people use to excuse their behaviours in a bid to change, but from experience, this change never lasts into February. However, this year, "New Year New Me!" seems to pouring out of me like the cliche it is. 

 

I start 2017 a fully renewed member of the singleton club. I'm refusing to get Tinder (Seriously, if you lived where I do, you'd understand), and considering my social life never really took off, I'm now expecting a rapid decline into the life of spinsterhood.

 

Add to this situation the fact that I've spent the last few months stuck in a bit of a rut, and you see my problem. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. Frankly, it's tedious. I needed something to keep me busy, so I turned to my best frenemy; biscuits and other delicious delights. It's making me gain weight like crazy as I to-and-fro through the conundrum of "am I eating because I'm hungry, or am I eating because I'm bored?", and I think it's a fair assumption that it's certainly the latter. I have always had a very unhealthy relationship with food. It's love/hate really. I love to eat, but I hate the way I feel when I know how much and how bad it is I've eaten.

 

 

This leads on to my "New Year New Me!" dilemma. I've known for some time that this has to change, but I have been making excuses for my behaviour (it's my birthday! It's cold outside! It's Christmas! I've earned it!), and these excuses are running out. Add to this the horrifying realisation that I am in fact an adult now, I am in full control of my actions, and I'm not getting any younger. This is a now or never moment. Either I change my mind-set towards food, or be forever stuck in my slightly podgy and unhappy state.

 

I'm flipping the sorry state my life has become on it's head. I'm changing completely. I owe this to myself, and quite honestly, I have done for a long time. And if not now, when? Probably never if we're being real.

 

2017 - bring it on.

 

 

Much Love ♥